Always a Handmaid

In the wake of the publication of my first book (see “previous” elsewhere on this page), I’m toying with a column comparing me to Margaret Atwood. What do you think? Separated at birth?

Sex is a Four-Letter Word and Other Misconceptions

A funny thing just happened. Humour Me columnist Tom Mills wrote a book

If a couple can’t achieve simultaneous choregasm, is a little extramarital housework a good idea?

Was Shakespeare smoking such stuff as dreams are made on?

When is it okay to punch a donkey?

Tom Mills explores these and other stimulating questions in his new book, Sex is a Four-Letter Word and Other Misconceptions.

For years the veteran newspaperman’s award-winning Humour Me columns have offered comic relief from soul-crushing current events. Now the Sault Ste. Marie-based humourist has collected and adapted some of his most popular work in book form.

“I’ve been blessed with a surprisingly large group of friendly, supportive and tolerant readers,” Mills said.

“Often readers suggest I publish a book of favourite columns. They suggest other things too, but most of those are anatomically impossible. So a book it is.”

Mills has been called “a dazzling humourist: clever, wry, breezy, newsy, charming, self-deprecating . . . one of the funniest writers in this country (or any country).” — Newspaper awards judge and Toronto Star columnist Vinay Menon.

Join him on his ship of fools and discover why he came out as a straight grandfather during a Caribbean cruise and how the Law of Relativity rules dating on Iceland.

Benefit from his tips on grandfathering, such as feeding the kids a steady diet of cheese slices and chocolate and delaying diaper changes until the smell overwhelms the air freshener.

Appreciate his tongue-in-cheek takes (sometimes supported by actual facts) on scientific discoveries and social trends: how to cultivate a dad bod; why the superhero pantheon should embrace seniors such as Hot Flash and Flatulenceman; how on the sex diet, an hour later you might be hungry again.

There’s much more, all in bite-sized, fat-free morsels of mirth.

Sex is a Four-Letter Word and Other Misconceptions is not available in fine bookstores everywhere. Instead, it’s being sold through direct marketing.

“If that’s good enough for Doctor Ho — who’s a doctor, no less — it’s good enough for me,” Mills said.

Books can be ordered online for $15 plus $8 shipping and handling at Mills’s blog site.

Readers in the Sault Ste. Marie area can avoid the shipping and handling charge by contacting Mills directly by email at or by phone at (705) 777-0364.

Better yet, come to the book launch, pick up your copy of Sex is a Four-Letter Word and Other Misconceptions and chat with Tom.

That gala event is Thursday, Nov. 9, beginning at 6:30 p.m., upstairs at The Canadian Motor Hotel, 410 Pim St. The Canadian is open during road construction and can be accessed from the north via Pim or from the south via Bellevue Avenue.

Bring a non-perishable food item or make a cash donation to Sault Ste. Marie Soup Kitchen and Mills will autograph your copy of his book. Bring two items or make a larger donation and he might agree not to.

Sex is a Four-Letter Word and Other Misconceptions makes a perfect Christmas gift for that person on your list that you hate to shop for, or maybe just plain hate.

The Book: Sex is a Four-Letter Word and Other Misconceptions

The Blog:


Facebook: humourmetom

The Book Launch Party: Canadian Motor Hotel, Thurs. Nov. 9, 6:30 p.m.